NSA Agent monitoring me: Sir, she did it again.

NSA Agent’s Boss: You mean-?

NSA Agent: Yes. Watched the Bend It Like Beckham trailer three times in a row at 1am.

hiphopocliedes:

memeufacturing:

me: hey Poseidon whats with the pitchfork huh???? There’s a lot of hay to stack in the ocean huh??? fucking loser
me: *gets killed by a tsunami*

- Odysseus

incorrect-harry-potter-quotes:

Ron: Hermione freaked out ‘cause I told her I never drink water, so now she’s making me drink eight glasses a day. It’s like, there’s water in soda, there’s water in coffee, there’s little pools of water on pizza-

Harry: That’s grease, Ron.

Ron: Well, it’s wet, isn’t it?

midtown120blues:

themathomhouse:

midtown120blues:

my goal is to be completely vaporized at disneyland so they cant take my body off the premises and pronounce me dead offsite

or, bring your own team of doctors and paramedics to pronounce you dead as soon as it happens so they’re stuck with it

I love the visual of me striding into Disneyland all smug with a confused team of doctors

hynpos:

and persephone is back to getting dicked down by hades in the underworld